it might interest the reader to note that this post is built from the bottom ... up
This is starting to worry me. I'm making things complicated for myself. I think I might try doing some normal posts.
The problem with a book that asks you to stop and do a long exercise is, you have to stop. It interrupted my reading. I noted early that I'm suggestible. I want to finish the book, but the author is saying then I won't get the benefit.
Also, the exercise was writing down fifty goals. I wrote them down on fifty small cards. Now I have this stack of cards that I don't entirely want to deal with.
Once I got the fifty goals written down, I did peek at the next paragraph. I am supposed to sort them by time of delivery. Goals I want to achieve in a year, in two years, etcetera. (Blogger doesn't recognize the word etcetera. How weird. It is a word.)
This is becoming a major theme for me. I want to read a lot of books, but I don't want a lot of books cluttering up my life. Solution: Kindle. I want to create a vast number of annotated stock charts, but I don't want ... well, let's say I put them in a notebook ... sorting them is the basic problem ... solution: Blogger. And now, I want to sort a lot of written goals. Solution, again, Blogger.
I'll have to play around with this. It's not entirely a new idea for me, but it's going to a new level with me now, so I feel a little uncertain. With that said ... only a little ... or even ... not.
Sitting here freezing my ass off. See earlier (that is, below) post. I put on a light jacket ... and a scarf ... to walk to my house, last night ... but it wasn't really bundling up ... and I'm walking all hunched over ... and I'm shivering ... which is an exercise for the gut, like crunches. Maybe I'll get skinny!
OK, I added pants ... and put on a sweater when I went outside ... for a smoke ... and took it off again when I came back in.
So, here I am, up at 6, working (or playing, as it may be). In fact, I was up at 4:30. I just woke up. I was, like, "is this crazy?" But ... no.
Business people are gung ho. Like my friend Jewel. She's completely enthused about her job. Everybody else is complaining, and worried, but she is just taking it to the max. And she'll run right over you if you get in her way. Well, why are you getting in her way? (When she posts on facebook, everybody piles on to comment. They're probably all shallow and vain, but nobody comments on my posts, not ever.)
In self help, it all boils down to what do you want. The funny thing is, it's a tough question. It heads you into the storm: you're not supposed to want that, or that, or that. There's a girl who just said to me "I'll cook and keep house for you ... if you make money." See what I'm saying?
I mean, I woke up feeling anxious. I was wondering what I want. Then I remembered. It's that.
There are disciplines that, let's put it this way, promise to move a person from that state where nothing is going your way to a state where everything is. If I talk about that, it gets pooh pooed. (Blogger does recognize that one.) That shows the kind of person you're hanging out with. I say be enterprising and trade stocks - 90% of people who try it fail - be one of the ten percent - do not fail to try again. Read a business book a week, like the guy says. Business books?! Aren't they boring? Well, do you want to be in business? Or, "that won't work for me." One a week.
Become an informed person. Learn marketing.
Friday December 4 2015
I'm miserable. I miss being bundled up. I'm cold. This is a tough one.
Why am I so sensitive? Is it ... a lack of inner warmth? It's interesting.
I was watching a movie, a sweet and very depressing movie called, I think, Grey Gardens, on Hulu, and the protagonists were listening to Dr. Norman Vincent Peale on the radio, and he was saying something like "a person who will be a success keeps cool." Of course he meant mentally, but, it's been cold, and I've been mostly sitting all bundled up, layers and layers of cottons and woolens, and a hat on ... just to be warm. However, as a result, I've ended up smelling like, oh, a dead fish or something. I finally bathed, and I'm planning to go out for a bit, and it drifted through my mind to ... now dress lightly ... even if it would mean being ... cool.
I said a little prayer then, Father, Mother, Angels, make me into someone who is unaffected by ... being cool. Help me be like that. Let me be like that. Let me strive to be like that. Help me as I work to adopt this new discipline.
People might say, about my writing, here, "are you on drugs?" This is the thought in my mind, and the feelings that go with it are loneliness and isolation. Cringing. Binary Utopia spoke of staying up into the night, and, as if suggestible, I did it, and then it seemed reasonable to stay up all night ... and then, when it was still very early in the morning, I remembered that was the time to place an important call, and not get put on hold, and, sure enough, I was able to recover atempenote. The person I spoke with treated me like an idiot, and I felt like an idiot, but I got the thing done. That hypnotist was saying "you know that people like you." He was saying "you are determined to practice." It may be nothing but a YouTube, but it's not off target.
After that call I worked on the morning's stocks, but, after a while, I couldn't focus, not in some vague sense, but literally. So, from about 8 to about 1, I slept.
And, when I woke up, I felt this ... loneliness ... this fear.
The ... very idea of life ... of a life ... felt ... so improbable.
A life based on what? Blogging? On a post? What, even, is a life? Friends. Who needs them? Who doesn't? A life based on YouTube meditations?
I returned to my affirmations. People like me. What a thing to say. I am determined to make progress.
My question was, would I be able, still, to do anything? But, it turns out, there are things to do.
blueviolet
Thursday December 3 2015 antiquewhite
speaking of corporations, for various reasons I need to list these stocks. the overarching reason is so i can easily open the pages in new tabs. then there are the other reasons.
other reason 1
Whoops! These charts DO NOT WORK in Chrome. They work fine in Edge, and they look great in F., but are, there, slooooooooooooow.
bought3000GBSNon11/30/15@0.128for392.92, oh, elegance, Chrome popping up options when i highlight the code
bought5GBNKon6/13/13@11for62, OK, if you click from log to linear in Chrome the charts work
bought200ALNon12/9/13@0.7195for151.62ilovethiscompany,
bought600NETEon1/12/15@01.20for727.00,
bought50AXPWon9/2/15@02.10for112.00,
bought700MDBXon7/24/15@0.1049for80.80[4Y],
bought[?100]ASTIon11/2[?]/15@[?]0.125for[?125], note: apparently still can't get myself to take small positions
bought[?]NLST@~55centssometimeinthespringof2015
saying goodbye to Firefox, it seems. here in Chrome, everything is instantaneous. i suppose it could be sabotage ... but, i doubt it. pretty much everything was moving slow as mud in the good old dog.
it's a funny world. it seems we don't have corporations for nuthin'.
i have to say, Blogger looked better in F. more crisp. this is like my apple, a little fuzzy. almost more than a little. weird. but it sure is fast.
it does appear to me that Firefox is incredibly slow. i was going to write that i haven't yet tested the hypothesis, but now i had better test it, because what's going on here is unendurable.
pretty much every one of these meditations uses "binaural" "something." if you ask me, it's playing with fire. but, if you know that's what you're doing, i suppose it's OK.
boy that's good
headphones
Wow, amazing! I am now hosting gorgeous, stunning ads from SumoMe. In exchange for this I am promised traffic. Traffic! I have just launched ... on the Web.
The process was incredibly beautiful. I have liberated myself, by quickly slipping through yet another forbidden gate, from fly by night operations, from up front fees, and unsubtle funnels (into a deeply artful one). Soon I will have a contact form, it seems, a long held dream, and the opportunity to begin "building a list," which, actually, I want, though warily ... and tracking, and analytics.
I am ... so proud. I had to figure out how to insert a little piece of code. I had the knowledge. I clicked around looking for the thing. I used a little bit of help. I ignored the warning to back up. I relied on my precision, and care. I didn't know at all what was happening. There was a pretty new link on my page. More things were occurring. I was presented with elegant options, and more elegant options. I selected among them. I cruised.
i no longer wish to simply let the sites slip away ... but leaving the tabs open will no longer do ... found ... retained ... treasured ... and now, preserved ... and, with this, it will also be "tried"
Markyess, aka Low Stocks, Stocks for the Low, aka Binary Utopia - this guy is completely amazing - talking about being up into the night - here i am - at 1:11 - working, to make it work. *** The completely amazing Binary Utopia
i posted something on another site that read "drink more water," though, in fact, i don't agree. i am drinking nothing but cup after cup after cup of hot tea, with heavy cream ... as much as i want, of course ... which is a lot ... but not more than that. (under other circumstances i would drink nearly as much beer ... but now i am drinking only tea ... a surprising confirmation of my thinking on addiction ... which is ... do what thou wilt.)
my knuckles are so chapped they have been, at times, bleeding. i have learned that at times the appropriate response to this kind of thing is to pay no mind and not be concerned. sometimes i lightly rub or brush them with my other hand, and that feels nice. i did, the other day, buy two apples, just for a touch of fresh ... they are as red as rose hips (in fact, what they are) ... and earlier tonight i finally cut one up and put the pieces in a dish for desultory consumption. just now i had one slice, thinking "maybe this will help ..." not quite crisp but, intensely flavored.
And Now, The Goddess Herself
Sonoma Fine Wine
we continue with the Wikimedia Store
we begin our series: the sacred Wikipedia pages
Project You!
oops, that's going to take some time
with that in mind, before I post the next item, I engage my brain, for a change, and locate this, the Hay House Affiliate Program !!!!!!!
as usual it's someone else's affiliate ad ... magically (and rather stupidly) migrated to my page
"With Software, BSA The Software Alliance"
In a very real way this post is for closing tabs.
"Firefox Hello, The easiest way to connect for free over video" !
1000 money affirmations
His philosphy. I finally got to watch it.
I found him a while back. He's still growing.
the Low Stocks story begins here
there's a youtube channel, Low Stocks, that I love a lot.
blogger support for https
why do I need it? why would I not set it up? (meaning, why is it an option? why would someone not want it?)
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