crashing

c:c:

For a moment there something was happening and it was really fun. Now it's just back to my life, which is very beautiful, but not much is happening, and I'm in pain. Pain means wanting something, but what is it?

Gradually I'm realizing that I was, in fact, over-reacting. OK, that gives me a thought: being part of a really fun team.

Anyway, that up there is a question, and when I ask a question like that my mind responds with thoughts. They tend to be abbreviated, disconnected ... but, they're thoughts.

I can't do anything in the garden for a month, now.

Oh, man, to have cash, actual cash, coming in, daily, $100 bills. I just saw that.

And what a silly thought it is, but it is a thought.

It's also a challenging thought. Well, it is if I try to think how to achieve it. "I am receiving a one hundred dollar bill, a real, new one hundred dollar bill, every day. I receive it at home, or at a coffee house. Someone just approaches me and puts it into my hands."

What a silly thought it is, but what a thought!


Miami. That thought flashed into my mind, a little earlier. It was accompanied by some outlandish details which I won't describe. Is it some kind of resource?


The thought that I want to achieve magical results working with K. Again, it's a silly, strange one. It's even clearly wrong ... except I don't believe a thought can be wrong. If I affirmed it over and over it would be, in fact, real.

A request was made, in effect. I would like something in exchange for fulfilling it, but nothing was offered, it seems to me, or, definitely not what I asked for. That was flatly rejected.

Why would I want to accept that kind of reality?!